This is when the shit hit the fan. Nikki's ex punched her in the face and we were all out of the house (by our choice, of course). Here are some details about the "move," since I had all of one sentence dedicated to it in the original blog post.
After we grabbed the kids and went to a motel for the night, I left to get some things out of the apartment, along with a police escort. He was going to be very pissed that Nikki and the kids were just gone, and I didn't want him coming after me. But we needed baby food and bottles, food for us and the kids, and clothes for us for the next day. I needed my hormone medication, and some other important things. He kept asking me where Nikki and the kids were. I wouldn't tell him, so he refused to let me inside. Since I had only been living there for one month, and I didn't yet have any bills with my name on them to that address, the cops wouldn't let me in. I went back to my car, to find that I had locked the keys inside. Oh yay. The policemen (still outside) called a 24-hour locksmith for me, and they told me to just leave when I was let into my car. As I was waiting, her ex walked out of the house and started walking down the street. He doesn't drive, and he was probably headed to his mother's house. Anyway, since everyone was gone, I used the key to get in the house and get the stuff we needed. My medication, however, was gone.
A few days later, I called her ex's place of business (at night, as he works nights only) to see if he was there. He answered, and I promptly hung up. I drove my car to the parking lot where I had stashed Nikki's truck. I then drove the truck to the apartment, to find that he'd changed the doorknob to me and Nikki's bedroom door. I was able to use a credit card to jimmy open the latch though. I then proceeded to get loads and loads of our stuff out of there. Clothes, dvd's and cd's, books, bookcases, dressers, and our bed. Don't ask me how I managed to get that queen-size mattress on top of her truck, but I did it. It was like an ant struggling with a potato chip. Sheer determination, I guess. I tied that mattress on top as best as I could, but I still had to stop the truck three or four times to fix it before it fell off onto the street. I had my parents' garage, shed, and backyard full of stuff. I worked from about 10 PM to 6 AM. I didn't eat, drink, or stop to rest. I was operating on pure willpower.
Nikki had a white Chevy Blazer like this one, only hers was old and pretty beat-up.
The following day, I rented a storage unit and moved all that stuff in. That was actually much easier to do, since they had these really nice handcarts there. There was a card access, so I didn't have to worry about anybody showing up and causing trouble. I was so afraid his neighbors would call him at work and he would come home early!
The following night, I waited in the parking lot at his employer. What? Stalking? Sorta, but I had already done the phone trick once, and I didn't want to push my luck. I saw his mother drop him off at work, and then I knew I was free to get more things from the apartment. Again, I worked for six or seven hours at least, then stopped sometime in the early morning. I rested, and later moved the new stuff from my parents' house to the storage unit. (It was too bad that the storage facility closed at 8 PM, or I could've just moved the stuff right from the apartment into the unit.) Unfortunately, I had a few things left. I had to wait almost a week, since he only works on the weekends.
When he was due to work again, I pulled the stalker routine one more time. He went in to work, and I headed for the apartment. Strangely enough, he hadn't changed the lock on the door to the apartment itself. But this time, he had put a molding all around our bedroom door, and finished off the job with a wedge of wood where the doorknob attaches to the frame. I grabbed a butterknife and pried the thing off in less than three minutes. I left the nail-filled wedge of wood on the kitchen table so he would find it later. LOL! I got the rest of the stuff out of our room, and also some of the kids' toys and such from the garage.
I did go back the following night, but this time, he'd finally changed the lock on the door to the apartment. I did get a few more things from the garage though. Later on, after Nikki and the kids had left the safehouse, she was able to show me a window that was loose in his bedroom. We took the whole window off, and that's how she got her TV back (which I hadn't been able to get my hands on until then, since it'd been in his well-secured bedroom the entire time). That TV sits in our living room today. We grabbed a few other forgotten things and high-tailed it out of there. By the time we were done, my 10'x10' storage unit was full. I mean, completely full, from the back wall to the gate (which was hard to close, for all the boxes so near to it), and the floor to the ceiling!
This is a 10'X10' storage unit, with a bike for reference.
That's about it. I single-handedly moved five people's clothes, furniture, toys, etc.! When I look back now at all I did, I can't believe it.
Anyway, here's the original post...
Monday, February 12, 2007
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Current mood: determined
Disclaimer: I'm not telling anyone this to elicit feelings of sympathy or pity out of anyone. If you happen to have such feelings upon reading this, then that's fine. I just wouldn't anyone to think that I'm saying, "Oh, woe is me." I knew what I was doing, and I still do.
Many of you already know that I moved in with Nikki. Many of you do not know that her "soon-to-be-ex-husband" was living with us as well. Why would I agree to such an arrangement? 1) I was looking for a place to stay in general, as Vanessa (my friend) is selling the house that I had been living in for the past two-and-a-half years. 2) To watch over Nikki, as he tends to harass her and get verbally and emotionally abusive. He never does that while I was around. 3) It was his idea, and he was going to help her get on her feet financially, and then he was going to move to Michigan, as he was already applying for jobs out there. He seemed okay with us being together and everything.
This arrangement lasted for a month. I'm back with my parents for awhile, and Nikki is in a safe house with her kids. It turns out there was a problem with him getting his meds (Klonopin, for anger problems), and now he's been flipping out. Two weeks ago, he punched Nikki in the face. I went after him. He is 350 pounds, but physically weak, due to his multiple sclerosis. I could move his hands and arms, but I couldn't move him. He was so big, he had me cornered in a hallway, and there was no room to go around him. Nikki called the cops when she couldn't get him off of me. There was no arrest made, and they left. To make a long story short, we were able to get all the kids out of the house the following evening. We took them to a motel, and the following day, we went to court.
She tried to file an order of protection against him, but he showed up the same day and did the same. His mom was trying to coerce the kids away from us, but we wouldn't let them go. Nikki had one child, and I was holding the hands of the other two. It was insane. The whole ordeal reminded me of one of those Lifetime Network movies. Since he filed for an order of protection the same day, all the two of them got were orders that said they couldn't harass each other or their children... but how could we go back to that house with him? So I had to drop her off to get her into the safe house program, and I parked Nikki's truck in a parking lot and had my friend pick me up. That was such a hard thing to do, leaving her at the hospital to be picked up to go to a safe house. I didn't know if I would get to even speak to her at all until the court date on March 7th.
I managed to get a lot of our stuff out of the house while he was at work, and I rented a storage unit to put it in. I'm saving money by living rent-free with my parents. I do get to talk to Nikki usually twice a day, for 10 minutes each. She had an appointment with DSS last week, to see if they can help her with first month's rent and security to get a place. I'll have some money to contribute on March 2nd. If what I'll have won't be enough, then we'll just have to wait longer. The safe house will keep her and the kids for up to three months. I'm looking for places and passing the info along to Nikki. The plan is to get a place with the help of DSS, and then I'll move in soon after. Nikki will be looking for a job as a substitute teacher, so DSS will drop her anyway once she gets that job. She has her master's degree in teaching, so she's very qualified. She hopes to set up supervised visitation with her ex, so that he can't abuse the kids in any way, or disappear with them. She hopes that she can keep our whereabouts a secret from him. I'm not sure if that will happen.
With child support and the both of us working, we'll be doing okay financially. We just need a little help getting started. It's a catch-22, because they won't let her look for a job while she's in the safe house, but having that job will help secure a place for her and her kids. Right now, I'm just so glad she's safe. She's really going stir-crazy at that place, but she's finally free of his abusive, manipulative, controlling ways. That definitely puts a smile on my face.
I'm not going to, and will never, give up on Nikki or the kids. I will do everything in my power to make sure that we are all safe and happy. This is my personal mission. I love Nikki with all of my heart, and I miss her terribly. I would wait forever for her, if that's what it took. (Hopefully it won't!)
The court date for the permanent order of protection is set for March 7th. That will decide who gets the kids until the matter is settled in a formal court hearing (if it comes to that). Wish us luck!
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Well, I'm just not feeling it yet. I'm sure I will, but I hope it'll be soon. We put the tree up and decorated it last weekend, then we took some family photos in front of it.
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